Chelsea Handler. She's a goddess. A down right, comedic goddess built of half-Jewish pure awesomeness. I'm putting her on my list of people to aspire to be like. Not just for her blunt honesty, her fabulous humor or her ability to gain sex appeal through brutal hilarity directed at others' expenses but because I like that she can make people believe anything. I just finished reading "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" and think I'll invest in "Dear Vodka, It's Me Chelsea".
I'm not in Virginia at the moment, by the way. I'm in one of the guest rooms on the only floor of my grandparent's house down at Lake Wateree, South Carolina. My mother is across the hall sleeping off her antibiotics while I grapple with the new found knowledge that egg custard was not meant to be mixed with B&J Strawberry Daiquiris (which taste like strawberry jello) or their Fuzzy Navels (Which taste like orange and peach juice mixed with fun). Of course, mixing two alcoholic beverages, even of the effeminate variety, with my anti-anxiety meds isn't really on the list of things I should be doing in the first place. However, given that it powered me to finish the book, gain blackmail on my mother and be last the person awake in the house, I consider this a great management of my time and resources.
I discovered through a roundabout conversation involving taking my biological father to court over back due child support to the worth of 73 thousand dollars that not only do I inherit some of my facial features from my American-Indian ancestors from both sides of the family, but that my distaste for vodka and its hatred for my stomach lining is hereditary. My grandmother can't drink that swill either without losing her cookies, so it was nice to know I wasn't just slowly dissolving into a whiny thirteen year old girl. I just can't drink fermented potato alcohol, which is a fact of life I'm willing to accommodate.
This trip has been utterly spontaneous and worth the adventure so far. My mother nearly ran over a peacock last night. It was apparently crossing the road and she nearly swerved into a ditch avoiding the damn thing. I, upon initial hearing of the story, accused her of using LSD and not even offering to let me sell it for extra cash. Eventually we discovered somewhere along Rolling Hills Road hides a farm of several hundred peacocks owned by a man who has an obviously unhealthy love for the birds. I learned that not only is DJ, the small child of my heart, still a big admirer of mine but that he has a healthy fear of me I've worked years to instill. He told his mother that when I came to visit I could sleep in his bed with him. When she directed him to clean his room he responded with "Yeah, I know. Because if I don't Cynthia will beat me up!". I'm proud of the little guy. He learns pretty quick.
I've been put to work as a short order cook as well. My grandfather owns a restaurant at an equestrian park a mile passed I-20 down Cleveland School Road off of Black River called Mane Street. He has the best bar-be-que in the world and this is from a woman with legit soul-food cooking black women friends. Well, two of their workers cut out and I pitched in. I'm now trained to make a chicken quesadilla, cheese and double cheeseburgers, french fries, grilled cheeses, grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, BBQ sandwiches, and eat free homemade carrot cake. It was worth learning and spending a few hours working for free to eat that damn cake too. I also discovered that rich people are still jerks, and it doesn't matter where you are. I wish I would be here for when the Westerners came over, because these Yankee riders are obnoxious and unfriendly.
Not too shady for a single day's adventure. We almost ran over some overly large buzzards in the Tiburan because, obviously, that's the only thing to do when you're bored. Mom and I opted to replace my grandfather's Router for the simple fact we can't live without functioning wifi if we don't have to. I should say now that my grandaddy who has the restaurant is not the same one whose house I'm crashing in unannounced this weekend. Mom, JenJen (Who I call Grandma simply because I'm the only one who was trained to), and myself stayed up telling ridiculous stories about Buttersnakes, my brother, myself and my mother.
I've decided that my life is too hilarious sometimes to keep to myself and am contemplating exploiting the people I love by making a book of us at our most ridiculous and unsavory. There will be skewed details, there will be exaggerations, and there will be hilarity. At least in my opinion.
As a parting note, I'd simply like to state for the record that not only did my mom endorse naming my first child Bacon, she now has recruited other family members to expect this from me. I've agreed to allowing for it to be a suitable nickname, and my child will be raised to respond to it solely.
I bid you farewell, kind readers, for I will return who knows when and in God knows what condition next.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Ferrets, Haircuts and School
So, since the handful of people who do read this are my personal friends I'm going to go ahead and give a low down of the events of my life over the passed three weeks. Most of them revolve around my mom almost dying.
Twice.
So, my mom had a surgery and her doctor pushed for a spinal anesthetic. Which would have been dandy if it hadn't leaked her spinal fluid all over her internal organs and caused her blood pressure to drop to 75/48 post op. Her doctor, initially had said that she was fine. She was actually on oxygen for three hours because they couldn't get her to wake up. So, that was awesome times. She, about five days later, ended up back in the hospital. She hadn't been feeling well and had some issues that made the surgeon demand to see her. For a while we thought she had a perforated bowel.
She had an abscess about 9x6 centimeters in her gut that was blockading her stomach and intestines. That was also fabulous. The doctor said we were lucky she came in when she had. Our distant cousin had the same issue and had been hours from death by the time she'd gone in.
Due to the fact my family was in need of some assistance and I was over-stressed and miserable, I quit my job at XXI. So, I'm officially unemployed at the moment, but honestly, I'm pretty okay with it for the second. I wasn't focusing on school enough in my last semester and my anxiety has gone down tremendously since I left. Which is good. I'm still hanging out with Tim and going to Thursdays at Applebees. Life is pretty good now that there's next to no drama happening.
I'm still moving to Maine, it just may take me a little longer to get up there, which I'm not happy about. But I put on my big girl panties and made a decision and will deal with it however I have to. In between moving up there and now, though, David will be coming down to visit me. We met when I went up to visit, and I have to say, he's pretty freakin' wicked. I can't until he comes down to see me, because this long-distance thing is terrible when you can't touch the person you really want to.
The family also bought three ferrets, all boys, who are currently digging in my bed and annoying my dogs. They are Ninja, Stitch and Gizmo. I find them hilarious and adorable, though a bit monstrous in their attitudes.
So, that's a basic recap of my life. I'm off to pickup my room and hang my clothes while being attacked by carpet sharks. Stitch just knocked himself off the bed. So fuzzy. Oh, yeah, and I got my hair cut again. It came out shorter than I'd imagined, but it happens. After this I'm growing it back out. I sort of miss having enough hair to pull into a ponytail. I'm also a brunette for the time being.
Laters guys.
Twice.
So, my mom had a surgery and her doctor pushed for a spinal anesthetic. Which would have been dandy if it hadn't leaked her spinal fluid all over her internal organs and caused her blood pressure to drop to 75/48 post op. Her doctor, initially had said that she was fine. She was actually on oxygen for three hours because they couldn't get her to wake up. So, that was awesome times. She, about five days later, ended up back in the hospital. She hadn't been feeling well and had some issues that made the surgeon demand to see her. For a while we thought she had a perforated bowel.
She had an abscess about 9x6 centimeters in her gut that was blockading her stomach and intestines. That was also fabulous. The doctor said we were lucky she came in when she had. Our distant cousin had the same issue and had been hours from death by the time she'd gone in.
Due to the fact my family was in need of some assistance and I was over-stressed and miserable, I quit my job at XXI. So, I'm officially unemployed at the moment, but honestly, I'm pretty okay with it for the second. I wasn't focusing on school enough in my last semester and my anxiety has gone down tremendously since I left. Which is good. I'm still hanging out with Tim and going to Thursdays at Applebees. Life is pretty good now that there's next to no drama happening.
I'm still moving to Maine, it just may take me a little longer to get up there, which I'm not happy about. But I put on my big girl panties and made a decision and will deal with it however I have to. In between moving up there and now, though, David will be coming down to visit me. We met when I went up to visit, and I have to say, he's pretty freakin' wicked. I can't until he comes down to see me, because this long-distance thing is terrible when you can't touch the person you really want to.
The family also bought three ferrets, all boys, who are currently digging in my bed and annoying my dogs. They are Ninja, Stitch and Gizmo. I find them hilarious and adorable, though a bit monstrous in their attitudes.
So, that's a basic recap of my life. I'm off to pickup my room and hang my clothes while being attacked by carpet sharks. Stitch just knocked himself off the bed. So fuzzy. Oh, yeah, and I got my hair cut again. It came out shorter than I'd imagined, but it happens. After this I'm growing it back out. I sort of miss having enough hair to pull into a ponytail. I'm also a brunette for the time being.
Laters guys.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The Hurricane that Wasn't
Listening to: Song of Storms (Dubstep remix, holla)
Nothing like a month between posts to get the blood flowing. Hello writers block.
So! Hey guys. Life is moving forward, the sun is shining, the season is slowly turning to Autumn before my eyes and I'm pretty content for the changes lying ahead of me.
Since I've been back from Maine I've been caught between work and trying to prepare for this move, which is getting harder. Every other day I'm having to shell out money for something. It's ridiculously hard to save at the moment, and I need money. So much money. I'm going to start to doubt though. I made a goal of moving at the end of December and that's what I'll do. The time is the same, the place has changed. I'm going up north to Maine, probably just outside Augusta and rooming with my gal pal Emily. Rent is just as cheap up there, the land is beautiful and green, there are mountains, I'm near old and new friends and there's only an hour to the ocean.
Some asshole broke into my car. And I mean, literally bashed in my window in a shower of $211 glass that I had to replace. That was awesome. I was robbed. They took my first aid kit, my tools, my CDs, some makeup and a fake leather jacket. I doubt the total of what they took was worth the damage inflicted upon my poor Ninja. I'm still angry about it. I seriously considered raging out, but I couldn't. Fucker's. I hope they get clipped by a stray bullet. However, the few CDs I did actually care about, both given to me by close friends, weren't taken. Sentimental, me? They'd been in the door at the time. It wasn't so bad after that.
I'll still mace the mother fuckers if I ever find them.
Then there's work. I hate my job, I'm overdue for raise I won't receive because my store manager is intimidated by my lack of fear of her. That's cool. I want a new job, but I leave in four months so its sort of a moot point now. Plus, I'm not sure how many full time jobs I can hold down with my new school schedule. I'm still looking though.
Oh! This is my last semester and its looking promising so far. Four classes, most of them two days a week. I think my friend Tim and I might start doing Zumba together between classes for me. I look forward to it. He's being an awesome pal to shop with and chill around with. But he's horrible for my spending, haha. We tend to shop together. It has to stop! But I look forward to hanging out with him at school. School starts tomorrow, we were delayed two days by Hurricane Irene.
Speaking of Irene, though I know at least one of my friends had a hard time through her for reasons that I won't delve into (he's a brave guy, that's all I'll say), it was a weak ass storm on my end. Our power only went out once for a little bit. All it was was a lot of rain. Rain and wind. Bro and I went to Kroger across the street for eggs during the beginning of it, then he went swimming in the ocean to prove he could. Seriously. I was looking forward to something a little more intense, but I'm also glad it wasn't that bad. I can't afford to shell out anymore cash just for the sake of adventure time.
I pretty much spent the whole of Saturday texting David, who I met in Maine. He's a pretty awesome guy. And I checked up on some local friends to make sure everyone was surviving. A lot of people lost power and several had some flooding. I think the way our condos are arranged sheltered us from a lot of the storm. Boy came down from Charlottesville to face down Irene with us. Dawn was pretty safe in her apartment, Tim had a little flooding, and Stacey had her power knocked out. But we were all prepared for it. By the end of the night the family and I were playing Liverpool rummy and having a few drinks. It was pretty nice.
I need to pick up some cereal and peanut butter because I forget to tell my dad to get me some from the grocery store. I keep forgetting.
Anyhow, I was at work until 1:37 this morning like a rockstar being a pissant. That was awesome let me say. Now I'm trying to scheme how to get mom to either get me a gyro from Jenna's Deli or take me to Arby's so I don't have to cook for dinner. My grandma just called to check on my mom before her surgery tomorrow. The next six weeks are going to be hard on her. She's got to recover. But I'm going trot away now, to finish scheming and may rewatch some episodes of TrueBlood.
Laters.
Nothing like a month between posts to get the blood flowing. Hello writers block.
So! Hey guys. Life is moving forward, the sun is shining, the season is slowly turning to Autumn before my eyes and I'm pretty content for the changes lying ahead of me.
Since I've been back from Maine I've been caught between work and trying to prepare for this move, which is getting harder. Every other day I'm having to shell out money for something. It's ridiculously hard to save at the moment, and I need money. So much money. I'm going to start to doubt though. I made a goal of moving at the end of December and that's what I'll do. The time is the same, the place has changed. I'm going up north to Maine, probably just outside Augusta and rooming with my gal pal Emily. Rent is just as cheap up there, the land is beautiful and green, there are mountains, I'm near old and new friends and there's only an hour to the ocean.
Some asshole broke into my car. And I mean, literally bashed in my window in a shower of $211 glass that I had to replace. That was awesome. I was robbed. They took my first aid kit, my tools, my CDs, some makeup and a fake leather jacket. I doubt the total of what they took was worth the damage inflicted upon my poor Ninja. I'm still angry about it. I seriously considered raging out, but I couldn't. Fucker's. I hope they get clipped by a stray bullet. However, the few CDs I did actually care about, both given to me by close friends, weren't taken. Sentimental, me? They'd been in the door at the time. It wasn't so bad after that.
I'll still mace the mother fuckers if I ever find them.
Then there's work. I hate my job, I'm overdue for raise I won't receive because my store manager is intimidated by my lack of fear of her. That's cool. I want a new job, but I leave in four months so its sort of a moot point now. Plus, I'm not sure how many full time jobs I can hold down with my new school schedule. I'm still looking though.
Oh! This is my last semester and its looking promising so far. Four classes, most of them two days a week. I think my friend Tim and I might start doing Zumba together between classes for me. I look forward to it. He's being an awesome pal to shop with and chill around with. But he's horrible for my spending, haha. We tend to shop together. It has to stop! But I look forward to hanging out with him at school. School starts tomorrow, we were delayed two days by Hurricane Irene.
Speaking of Irene, though I know at least one of my friends had a hard time through her for reasons that I won't delve into (he's a brave guy, that's all I'll say), it was a weak ass storm on my end. Our power only went out once for a little bit. All it was was a lot of rain. Rain and wind. Bro and I went to Kroger across the street for eggs during the beginning of it, then he went swimming in the ocean to prove he could. Seriously. I was looking forward to something a little more intense, but I'm also glad it wasn't that bad. I can't afford to shell out anymore cash just for the sake of adventure time.
I pretty much spent the whole of Saturday texting David, who I met in Maine. He's a pretty awesome guy. And I checked up on some local friends to make sure everyone was surviving. A lot of people lost power and several had some flooding. I think the way our condos are arranged sheltered us from a lot of the storm. Boy came down from Charlottesville to face down Irene with us. Dawn was pretty safe in her apartment, Tim had a little flooding, and Stacey had her power knocked out. But we were all prepared for it. By the end of the night the family and I were playing Liverpool rummy and having a few drinks. It was pretty nice.
I need to pick up some cereal and peanut butter because I forget to tell my dad to get me some from the grocery store. I keep forgetting.
Anyhow, I was at work until 1:37 this morning like a rockstar being a pissant. That was awesome let me say. Now I'm trying to scheme how to get mom to either get me a gyro from Jenna's Deli or take me to Arby's so I don't have to cook for dinner. My grandma just called to check on my mom before her surgery tomorrow. The next six weeks are going to be hard on her. She's got to recover. But I'm going trot away now, to finish scheming and may rewatch some episodes of TrueBlood.
Laters.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Catching Up
Listening to: Time is Running Out by Muse
So, there I was in an airport, minding my own business when security walks up and asks if I know who left the backpack at the end of the row of chairs unattended. For a solid five minutes there's the vibration of panic and possible chaos in the air as everyone wonders where the gentleman who owns the bag disappeared to. For those five minutes I thought I had just helped some sap get tasered and interrogated by TSA. Turns out he had been outside smoking, received a stern talking to and was left to meander with the other five of us travelers who dared brave the sky at oh-dark-thirty.
That is pretty much how my trip started. The Twitter version is far more funny because I was high off a lack of sleep and caffeine. I arrived at the airport in Norfolk somewhere around 3:30 in the morning, before the security gates even lifted. It was eerily like the setting of an apocalypse survival flik. Totally worth it to beat the heat and the crowds, however. My planes were practically deserted.
I arrived at Portland Jetport a bit early, and was greeted with a glomp and a new friend (Chelsie). Emily is just as awesome as I remembered, and has grown into quite the playful beauty. It was warm, which caught me off guard. And so green! Dear lord, so green and lake filled is that state! Maine is gloriously beautiful. I fell in love with it from the air and was not disappointed on the ground. We drove from Portland to Augusta through Freeport, which is a cozy city/town with lots of shopping and is all historical. Their McDonald's is in a two story house! It was so adorably quaint I didn't know what to do with myself.
Also, their L.L. Bean has a giant boot.
Also, their L.L. Bean has a giant boot.
We came to Augusta through Hallowell and made it to Game On Cafe, which is my friend's parents' internet cafe/gaming paradise. It was quite something! They have twelve X-Boxes, a PS3, a computer, pool, foosball, a Wii with a projection screen aimed as a sizable chunk of wall and a downstairs area reserved for card games like Magic the Gathering and I believe DnD. We spent a good bit of time there. The food was epic, the atmosphere super comfy and friendly. Even I played some games and we all know how much I suck at them.
I met Garret, the chef at Game On, caught up with Ms. Sue (Emily's mom) and met Kim and Alex. Chelsie was playing Heavy Rain, which is the super devoted video game where you play as specific characters to get through tasks but you have to made all decisions for the characters and your choices could end up killing you. The point of the game is to rescue your son (as one of the characters) from drowning. At this point you've already lost one child to fate (you and your other son were hit by a car and he dies). A serial killer who only strikes when it rains kidnapped your son and is testing your devotion as a father.
It's pretty warped, pretty twisted and we all became engrossed with watching her navigate it. By the time she beat the game we were all ready for some people to die, some people to be saved and a happy ending.
Augusta is a small city and its very historical looking. I loved the way the houses were built and how the wilderness sort of swallowed the place whole from all sides. I could feel the life around us at all times. It was very nice. Where Game On is, you can walk down to the Kennebec River which is apparently home to fish so big they can't swim without scaring the beejezes out of me by jumping from the water. It's also apparently not a 'safe' place to swim as its polluted.
After a short bit, while we were trying to figure out what to do with our lives for the rest of the night, Jaime and David pulled up in her Jeep. They are both very friendly, happy people. It was hard to not be comfortable around them and I instantly was. Once they showed up, our group decided to hit up a local place called Roosters for pizza. Then we discussed maybe visiting and abandoned asylum, but that fell through due to us not wanting to get arrested. We all ended up going to a ghost trail and walking around midnight under a nearly full moon.
Now that was an experience. It was dark, the mud was thick in some places but we mostly managed to avoid it. Apparently, there's an initiation amongst the friends I was with that involved stripping, running through the woods and waiting to pounce on the group from some randomly chosen vantage point. I did not participate. Someone did, but because I didn't ask, I won't tell their name. But it was hilarious and unexpected. We just turned around and they were taking off like a bat out of hell. Good things happen in Maine.
We headed to Emily's after that and David played some Dead Space 2. Chelsie was telling me about the game, as I've never played, and how Isaac tends to die pretty frequently. The Theory of Isaac is that everytime he dies, he cures one of your sins. I fell asleep on a bean bag chair pretty quick, apparently, and woke up just to go upstairs. When we woke up the next morning David still hadn't gone to sleep and was almost done with Dead Space 1 and had beaten 2.
We ended up at Alex's house for her birthday barbeque and a dip in the lake. The food was great. David entertained us on the piano and even played Time is Running out for the girls to sing while I recorded it. He has quite the talent for musical arts, I was very impressed. The music he played was all his own and it was beautiful. I'm envious. And the way those girls sing! So much better than I could hope, haha. It was great. So we pushed Alex's face into her cake, went to the lake and had a swim. Then we went back to Emily's, changed and got ready to go to Applebees for Alex's birthday dinner before the Harry Potter premiere. WHICH WAS AMAZING.
The next day we ended up at Farmington, where Jaime and David stay. I played Left 4 Dead for the first time, and it was very fun. Fucking Tanks and Chargers though. Seriously? Why are they so damn attracted to Ellis? Does he give off a pheromone?
Anyhow, Farmington is a great place. Its small, has a college, and has wonderful shops where I bought a dress and four pairs of shoes for two dollars a piece. So awesome!
I also tried the hookah for the first time ever, and that was neat! The smoke was smoother than cigarettes and way more pleasant than cigars. We had strawberry and pina colada. So, that was cool. Then we all stayed up real late after eating tacos playing truth or dare. Ian, Hillary's boyfriend (she being cousins with Jaime and David), got me with a food dare. Ugh, I hate food dares. I had to eat this atrocity of a layer cake out of a shot glass. It was salsa, peppercinis, peanut butter, maple syrup, strawberry frosting, paprika and something else I think. But by God I didn't back down.
I have flashbacks to that moment. But that's okay. Someone else had to go streaking. There was a lot of body licking. It was a good time. I fell asleep somewhere around four in a chair, woke up at six to go to Dunkin Donuts with David and Preston, went back to bed immediately after. We had to get home decently early for Emily to go to work, I believe. I ended up spending most of the day with her brother Steven. He took me to Hallowell Day and bought me fried dough. We hit up the Wharf, a local bar joint, and had a drink. Later we also went to the Bridge Street Bar (I think its called that) and I had a Mike's Hard Lemonade for I am womanly.
My last full day there we hit up the coast. I guilted David into joining us instead of finishing Dead Space, with puppy dog eyes. Steve drove up and we visited some shops. I bought Sarah, mum, dad and Boy all presents. Then came the lobster. Dear god, the lobster. It was huge! I couldn't even finish my half, honestly. That boy had no issue tearing through his though, like he had something against it personally. It was fantastic! Emily and I stayed up that night talking and sleeping on the couch like old times.
Before I left the next day we went candlepin bowling and ate a lot of junky foods at the bowling alley. I sucked horribly. It was great fun though! And we hit up the little arcade where, for some reason, we all gave our tickets to Emily. A few goodbyes later and I was on my way home. It was an easy flight back.
It was a great trip, totally relaxing and comfortable the whole time. I really enjoyed myself. I'm still excited about it, actually, haha.
Ramen time before work! It's Janette's last Applebees Night, so we're going to party it up! Laters.
I met Garret, the chef at Game On, caught up with Ms. Sue (Emily's mom) and met Kim and Alex. Chelsie was playing Heavy Rain, which is the super devoted video game where you play as specific characters to get through tasks but you have to made all decisions for the characters and your choices could end up killing you. The point of the game is to rescue your son (as one of the characters) from drowning. At this point you've already lost one child to fate (you and your other son were hit by a car and he dies). A serial killer who only strikes when it rains kidnapped your son and is testing your devotion as a father.
It's pretty warped, pretty twisted and we all became engrossed with watching her navigate it. By the time she beat the game we were all ready for some people to die, some people to be saved and a happy ending.
Augusta is a small city and its very historical looking. I loved the way the houses were built and how the wilderness sort of swallowed the place whole from all sides. I could feel the life around us at all times. It was very nice. Where Game On is, you can walk down to the Kennebec River which is apparently home to fish so big they can't swim without scaring the beejezes out of me by jumping from the water. It's also apparently not a 'safe' place to swim as its polluted.
After a short bit, while we were trying to figure out what to do with our lives for the rest of the night, Jaime and David pulled up in her Jeep. They are both very friendly, happy people. It was hard to not be comfortable around them and I instantly was. Once they showed up, our group decided to hit up a local place called Roosters for pizza. Then we discussed maybe visiting and abandoned asylum, but that fell through due to us not wanting to get arrested. We all ended up going to a ghost trail and walking around midnight under a nearly full moon.
Now that was an experience. It was dark, the mud was thick in some places but we mostly managed to avoid it. Apparently, there's an initiation amongst the friends I was with that involved stripping, running through the woods and waiting to pounce on the group from some randomly chosen vantage point. I did not participate. Someone did, but because I didn't ask, I won't tell their name. But it was hilarious and unexpected. We just turned around and they were taking off like a bat out of hell. Good things happen in Maine.
We headed to Emily's after that and David played some Dead Space 2. Chelsie was telling me about the game, as I've never played, and how Isaac tends to die pretty frequently. The Theory of Isaac is that everytime he dies, he cures one of your sins. I fell asleep on a bean bag chair pretty quick, apparently, and woke up just to go upstairs. When we woke up the next morning David still hadn't gone to sleep and was almost done with Dead Space 1 and had beaten 2.
We ended up at Alex's house for her birthday barbeque and a dip in the lake. The food was great. David entertained us on the piano and even played Time is Running out for the girls to sing while I recorded it. He has quite the talent for musical arts, I was very impressed. The music he played was all his own and it was beautiful. I'm envious. And the way those girls sing! So much better than I could hope, haha. It was great. So we pushed Alex's face into her cake, went to the lake and had a swim. Then we went back to Emily's, changed and got ready to go to Applebees for Alex's birthday dinner before the Harry Potter premiere. WHICH WAS AMAZING.
The next day we ended up at Farmington, where Jaime and David stay. I played Left 4 Dead for the first time, and it was very fun. Fucking Tanks and Chargers though. Seriously? Why are they so damn attracted to Ellis? Does he give off a pheromone?
Anyhow, Farmington is a great place. Its small, has a college, and has wonderful shops where I bought a dress and four pairs of shoes for two dollars a piece. So awesome!
I also tried the hookah for the first time ever, and that was neat! The smoke was smoother than cigarettes and way more pleasant than cigars. We had strawberry and pina colada. So, that was cool. Then we all stayed up real late after eating tacos playing truth or dare. Ian, Hillary's boyfriend (she being cousins with Jaime and David), got me with a food dare. Ugh, I hate food dares. I had to eat this atrocity of a layer cake out of a shot glass. It was salsa, peppercinis, peanut butter, maple syrup, strawberry frosting, paprika and something else I think. But by God I didn't back down.
I have flashbacks to that moment. But that's okay. Someone else had to go streaking. There was a lot of body licking. It was a good time. I fell asleep somewhere around four in a chair, woke up at six to go to Dunkin Donuts with David and Preston, went back to bed immediately after. We had to get home decently early for Emily to go to work, I believe. I ended up spending most of the day with her brother Steven. He took me to Hallowell Day and bought me fried dough. We hit up the Wharf, a local bar joint, and had a drink. Later we also went to the Bridge Street Bar (I think its called that) and I had a Mike's Hard Lemonade for I am womanly.
My last full day there we hit up the coast. I guilted David into joining us instead of finishing Dead Space, with puppy dog eyes. Steve drove up and we visited some shops. I bought Sarah, mum, dad and Boy all presents. Then came the lobster. Dear god, the lobster. It was huge! I couldn't even finish my half, honestly. That boy had no issue tearing through his though, like he had something against it personally. It was fantastic! Emily and I stayed up that night talking and sleeping on the couch like old times.
Before I left the next day we went candlepin bowling and ate a lot of junky foods at the bowling alley. I sucked horribly. It was great fun though! And we hit up the little arcade where, for some reason, we all gave our tickets to Emily. A few goodbyes later and I was on my way home. It was an easy flight back.
It was a great trip, totally relaxing and comfortable the whole time. I really enjoyed myself. I'm still excited about it, actually, haha.
Ramen time before work! It's Janette's last Applebees Night, so we're going to party it up! Laters.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Just A Placeholder
I did not bring my laptop with me for this vacation that I'm on, mostly because of room and partially because I honestly did not think I would have time to post anything, so it would be a waste of space. I was right. No time. I've been extraordinarily busy being awesome with one of my dearest friends in the world, and making new ones I hope last for years to come.
So, as a bit of a filler/place holder post to prove I still exist, I'm going to give a clippy overview of what I need to remember to post about in this blog and the other one (which you should all be reading retailisforchampions).
Maine-
Dentons, crazy cats, old cats, older brothers, bars, internet cafe of awesome times, anime fans, new friends, truth or dare and horrible side effects, first lobster, sooooo green, fresh air, piano players (and others with musical talents), Left 4 Dead, Dead Space and The Theory of Isaac, Heavy Rain, hair cut, Farmington, Augusta, Portland, cramped into cars, forever unasleep, food, and uber happiness.
Retail-
Foreigners who can't behave, children, and something else I don't remember.
Love you guys, I'll be posting again soon I hope. I work the next five days straight, at least. I also have a late night planned on Thursday. But this will happen. Also, Sarah is sick so wish her well. The silly panda.
Laters
So, as a bit of a filler/place holder post to prove I still exist, I'm going to give a clippy overview of what I need to remember to post about in this blog and the other one (which you should all be reading retailisforchampions).
Maine-
Dentons, crazy cats, old cats, older brothers, bars, internet cafe of awesome times, anime fans, new friends, truth or dare and horrible side effects, first lobster, sooooo green, fresh air, piano players (and others with musical talents), Left 4 Dead, Dead Space and The Theory of Isaac, Heavy Rain, hair cut, Farmington, Augusta, Portland, cramped into cars, forever unasleep, food, and uber happiness.
Retail-
Foreigners who can't behave, children, and something else I don't remember.
Love you guys, I'll be posting again soon I hope. I work the next five days straight, at least. I also have a late night planned on Thursday. But this will happen. Also, Sarah is sick so wish her well. The silly panda.
Laters
Friday, July 8, 2011
Never Say Never
My friend Sarah wrote a list of things that she swore she'd never do as a writer. She emailed them to me.
I do 98% of them pretty regularly so I sent her my response.The green is her original statement the blue is my response to her initial rule. Also, she loves the stories I create. Enjoy ;)
· I will not use the standard format of threes just because that is what people are comfortable with.
· I use threes because its symmetrical. And pleasing. And sort of fun and kinky.
· I will not make up my own language just to give die-hard fans another fun thing to learn. However I will periodically (randomly) mix in foreign langue’s; it’s called culture people, learn to love it. (<- I agree with this, as you’ve read)
· I will not kill off children under 12 or innocents just to keep the story line going and make the reader feel more invested in the plot.
· I kill people all the time. Especially children. Especially to drive the plot and build a character up. Meet Jason, the Honey Badger of the literary world.
· I will not get pregnant half way through my book series and let my hormones fuck up my writing style and kill off half of my main characters.
· Moot point because most of my characters die numerous times anyway and tend to come back. Or at least two of them do. I’m not sure if werewolves can land on their feet yet.
· I will not give cancer to a character in every single story I write just so the readers will show some emotion.
· I make them dejected orphan teenage girls instead. Much more modern and relatable to teens who hate their families.
· I will not use the same plot over and over again until not even I want to read it.
· Girl is abandoned by loved ones. Girl meets paranormal hunk. Hunk is a douche. Hunk likes girl but won’t admit it. Girl is obnoxiously independent. Girl nearly dies. Hunk saves day, gives girl credit.
· I will not release a murder mystery and a children’s novel at the same time because I am a machine and think I’m that damn awesome.
· I will release a fucking murder mystery children’s novel with graphic pictures just to piss off parents. And then I’ll write it out scene by scene and sell it as a new story parents will love to read. At the same time. Because I am that damn awesome.
· I will not add an epilog to tell what happens after my story actually ends. If my endings cannot stand on their own, then obviously they shouldn’t be published.
· I like epilogues. They’re like the scene at the end of the credits you wait to see because it gives you hope.
· I will not let my characters fall into stereotypical rolls that have been laid out for me by my favorite writers.
· Christina= Buffy+Faith.
· I will not write for anyone but myself. (And Cynthia)
· No argument. (But Cynthia would like to see PROOF that you write for her still :p)
· I will not create a world just to let it fail.
· No. I will create a world to watch it shatter just to force my characters to rebuild it and develop. Maybe by getting cancer or killing a child.
· I will not put in huge battle scene if we already know who is going to win it.
· I will because I like to write when someone gets shot in the head or stabbed through the chest in that fervent hunt for victory.
· I will not let myself stop writing out of boredom or fear.
· Or lack of time. Or moving. Or relationships.
· I will not create a world that is unrealistic on either end of the spectrum.
· I actually agree with this. Realism is key, unfortunately humans are so deluded that the more realistic you make a world, the more they dream it to be fictitious.
· I will not write a love story into the plot line and allow it to take over the entire piece.
· Renegade Angel 1st Ed.
· I will not be discouraged by rejection. I fully respect and understand that my style of writing will never be accepted in the academic world.
· However, my writing style will one day be the basis of a whole new set of academia. And as a professor, I will teach it with Nazi like prowess and force it upon the youth as though it is the Only Way.
· I will not ‘Shakespeare’ a story because I know it will sell more copies that way.
· I assume this is something about tragic twists or strange language. I do both.
· I will not allow my own feelings for the characters I create to cloud my judgment when writing about them.
· I will. That’s why Forrest ends up shot so many times and Chris is always being subliminally punished for being a bitch.
· I will not be as good as my favorite authors. I will be better.
· I will be the Charlie Sheen of writing all dressed up with nowhere to crazy but you love me anyways because just the sound of my name has enough narcotics in it to get you hooked.
· I will also stay humble to the people who inspire me and made me who I am. They give me the reason and strength to write and I will acknowledge this with hidden symbolism and inside jokes.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Treasure Hunting
Gene Simmons is probably one of my favorite people to watch on TV. Which partially pains me, because I dislike reality TV. There’s something about Family Jewels that just strikes me right, though. I really love watching it.
We’re watching it between power outages in the face of this kickass Independence Day storm. All I’m saying is and there’s a lot of lightning and there’s a patriotic holiday among us. This sounds like a strong setting for an invasion.
Just saying.
There will probably not be many fireworks going off, what with all the natural sky explosions happening. It’s okay. I prefer thunder and lightning. It’s more relaxing, less intrusive (unless you’re Gidget), and doesn’t involve gunpowder. Although, I am a fan of explosions.
I’ve been slimming down my stockpile of horded crap recently. Went through our storage shed with my brother and his friend, and went through years worth of backlog of my life. It’s funny, actually. So much of the stuff was stuff I’d thought I had lost, or didn’t remember having in the first place.
It was like a strange treasure hunt in which I found pieces of myself that I hadn’t known I was missing. Delightful. I found a story I’d written in the sixth grade about me and a friend of mine, and god, it was so awful. Blackmail worthy. So naturally I read to Sarah over Skype last night. Oh god, the laughter. Also, writing a fan story based on a story you’ve actually written, formed as a gift for a third party?
Sooooo tacky. But I did it.
She can scoff all she wants. She knows she loved it. Haha.
I found a ton of my old stories, sketches, poetry and random whatnots as well. It was sort of refreshing to go through it all again. My brother can say what he wants about me being a packrat. There are reasons I keep the things I do that he thinks are useless. Those stories have history. I may never work on them again, but I like to go back and reread them sometimes. It helps me remember who I am and who I’ve been.
I found a letter from my Paw Paw Holt, and it made it me cry just to read his name on the envelope. I didn’t even get to read it. Instead I read this signature book I had people sign during my last week of school in Mountain Home. My debate team, my friends, classmates and teachers.
Also, that camera I talked about a while back, I found it! Hurrah for relics of the past! I just gotta charge up the batteries and take that baby out into the world again. Maybe I’ll do that thirty day challenge then. I’d much rather do it if I had editing software worth a damn on a laptop that could hold a charge for longer than thirty seconds, but I’ll make do.
Work has been good, fun. Some newbies, namely Elizabeth and Tim and some others, are making it a much easier experience for me. Tim even came to my aid and helped me put a band-aid on my injured finger today! Haha. God I'm clutsy. I punched a ladder leaning against a wall with my elbow. I tripped. I roughed up my skirt on the counter and stabbed myself in the finger to the point of bleeding. Yup.
We’re watching it between power outages in the face of this kickass Independence Day storm. All I’m saying is and there’s a lot of lightning and there’s a patriotic holiday among us. This sounds like a strong setting for an invasion.
Just saying.
There will probably not be many fireworks going off, what with all the natural sky explosions happening. It’s okay. I prefer thunder and lightning. It’s more relaxing, less intrusive (unless you’re Gidget), and doesn’t involve gunpowder. Although, I am a fan of explosions.
I’ve been slimming down my stockpile of horded crap recently. Went through our storage shed with my brother and his friend, and went through years worth of backlog of my life. It’s funny, actually. So much of the stuff was stuff I’d thought I had lost, or didn’t remember having in the first place.
It was like a strange treasure hunt in which I found pieces of myself that I hadn’t known I was missing. Delightful. I found a story I’d written in the sixth grade about me and a friend of mine, and god, it was so awful. Blackmail worthy. So naturally I read to Sarah over Skype last night. Oh god, the laughter. Also, writing a fan story based on a story you’ve actually written, formed as a gift for a third party?
Sooooo tacky. But I did it.
She can scoff all she wants. She knows she loved it. Haha.
I found a ton of my old stories, sketches, poetry and random whatnots as well. It was sort of refreshing to go through it all again. My brother can say what he wants about me being a packrat. There are reasons I keep the things I do that he thinks are useless. Those stories have history. I may never work on them again, but I like to go back and reread them sometimes. It helps me remember who I am and who I’ve been.
I found a letter from my Paw Paw Holt, and it made it me cry just to read his name on the envelope. I didn’t even get to read it. Instead I read this signature book I had people sign during my last week of school in Mountain Home. My debate team, my friends, classmates and teachers.
Also, that camera I talked about a while back, I found it! Hurrah for relics of the past! I just gotta charge up the batteries and take that baby out into the world again. Maybe I’ll do that thirty day challenge then. I’d much rather do it if I had editing software worth a damn on a laptop that could hold a charge for longer than thirty seconds, but I’ll make do.
Work has been good, fun. Some newbies, namely Elizabeth and Tim and some others, are making it a much easier experience for me. Tim even came to my aid and helped me put a band-aid on my injured finger today! Haha. God I'm clutsy. I punched a ladder leaning against a wall with my elbow. I tripped. I roughed up my skirt on the counter and stabbed myself in the finger to the point of bleeding. Yup.
Say something.
Still dressing up and confusing everyone. I’ve told them that I come in inspired by other people (Cinderella, coworkers, characters) and do my best with my clothes to mimic the idea behind the look. It’s fun. I have to learn to mix, match and do my makeup to get others to see what’s in my head. It’s a good way to work with what I’ve got and keep my hands off of new clothes, as I can’t spend money.
You know, with that kickass trip to Maine coming up. I’m thinking this is going to be a light packing, jeans, tees and jacket sort of stay over. Apparently it’s still cold up there. I’ve never been that far North before. Should be an adventure! That reminds me, I need to warn Emily so she can warn her friends that I plan on filming large portions of events to come, and post them on Youtube. Travel Vlog time!
Any how, no idea when power will decide to die again, so I’m going to go do awesome things by candlelight.
You know, with that kickass trip to Maine coming up. I’m thinking this is going to be a light packing, jeans, tees and jacket sort of stay over. Apparently it’s still cold up there. I’ve never been that far North before. Should be an adventure! That reminds me, I need to warn Emily so she can warn her friends that I plan on filming large portions of events to come, and post them on Youtube. Travel Vlog time!
Oh yeah! Quote of the Day: "I don't care enough about your soul to eat it. It seems like it rotted a long time ago. Bad for the digestion."
Any how, no idea when power will decide to die again, so I’m going to go do awesome things by candlelight.
Laters, minions.
PS: Oh yeah, you're all minions now. Get used to it.
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