Saturday, April 30, 2011

Four More Days

Oh man, so close, so close, so close. Freedom is tauntingly on the tip of my tongue, refusing to answer my groans for more. It wants me to beg, to cry out that I need it and want it. We're in a carefully aligned waiting game and Freedom does not relent on its timelines. A cruel master, but I enjoy it none the less. On May 4th, it will be mine until Summer ends.

Meaning, of course, that I'm almost done with Finals and am rocking my socks off waiting for this semester to be over. I'm already organizing myself to take my written exit exam, I don't have a senior project, and am completely registered for my last semester at Old Dominion. I am one step closer to being certified to crawl into other people's head and sort through the destruction left behind from their childhoods like a lone survivor sifting through the ashes of the Z-War.

Mainly, I am updating to touch base as I have nothing of value to say. But look how prettily I can tell you useless information! I use adjectives and everything.  I make you want to know that I am dull and lackluster right now. Well, I am normally dull and lackluster, but we will not discuss that at the moment. Instead I will roughly outline my week with excitement drawn on from reserve since I am currently operating on five hours of sleep, caffeine, and coconut/pineapple cake.

Mainly my life has been work recently, school reviews for the finals upcoming, and dishing out that awesome presentation. Oh man, we improv'd so hard, but it was amazing. I had witty retorts for the 'Cop's' questions and everything. I thugged up my appearance and wore a name tag. I got an A so boo-yah mother suckers! Hmm. Mostly that's it. I'm still in love with my little Ninja and am looking for ways to slightly upgrade my little man. Maybe a new stereo, looking for some wicked seat covers that don't exist. I may end up having to make them myself.

Oh! Also, in a bout of random inspiration I have begun running again, though a bit intermittently. I've run twice this week with a pal of mine. I would like to say the first night I ran maybe three-fourths of a mile and last night I ran the whole thing but I am not sure. However, I'll be corrected and can update that information later if its important enough to me. Anyways, I'm slow and out of shape but I'm doing it. Woo!

So, because I don't like the short and breezy way this turned out, I'm going to post a part of a 'prologue' of a story I write in when experiencing writer's block or intense boredom. The rest of this post in entirely irrelevant, much like everything before this disclaimer, only you haven't wasted your time reading it yet.


Wrose is not the sort of person to take home to soft hearted Mother, in her flour specked apron and warm smile. She is not a gentle soul who handles confinement well, and when pressured and anxious, will lash out in any way she can. This includes flailing, cursing, or making sarcastic remarks.

Wrose was feeling very, very confined in the shotty prop-jet barely humming through the sky over the barren, lackluster landscape that remained the same even after crossing the border separating Utah from Idaho. Though, they were finally over the mountains and she could see I-84, randomly spotted with cars, and lots of roaming dots that had to be cows.

The plane was slowly descending, actually, which made her tense. Sure, she loved the barren wasteland that was Southern Idaho, including Boise. However, that did not mean she was an idiot. She hadn’t asked if the pilot went to school anywhere locally, and she was probably safer not knowing. Sure, trusting the state’s education system was a bit like letting a stranger show your kid his awesome puppy in the back of his windowless van that bore the license plate ‘KDMGNT’. It just screamed horrible, horrible idea.

She began to distract herself by skeptically analyzing the rest of the occupants of the relatively small cabin. A handful were Airmen in full uniform on their way to their new duty station, Mountain Home, about forty-five minutes from Boise and further south into the state. Most were older people who all seemed to be flying into Boise for a wedding, birth or funeral.

Didn’t anyone travel just to travel these days?

She shrugged to her own thoughts, figuring not because of the abysmal economy. Plus, she was pretty sure that she may be one of the only people in the world who voluntarily loved the arid southern half of the state the way she did. None of these people were going to appreciate the way the mountains seemed purple in the evening and dawn, or how they disappeared when there was a fog, or the scent of sage in the scalding July heat. Or how impossible free from zombies it was during the winter. No one had any appreciation for the good things anymore.

Granted, she used to hate all of those things with a fiery, angst ridden teenage passion. Except the zombies. But at least she’d matured since then. Now she understood and enjoyed the little things that made others want to cut themselves.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Ninja is Here

I bought a car. Yeah, that's right. I bought a freaking car yesterday before work. That happened.

I'm so excited about it that it's pretty much been all I've talked about since it happened. Ridiculous excitement on my part. My plain-jane little Lancer. I've dubbed him Ninja, for though he may not look like much, he is stealthy and efficient. Also, Mitsubishi is Japanese. It totally works out. Look at how the sun so playfully shines off that headlight. It's like he's smiling.

So, it's a four banger that actually drives like a six cylinder, which is awesome but since it lacks cruise control it means I have to learn to not be a moron. I'm paying my own insurance now, so, you know, would like to not have my license taken or receive any tickets. That would be awesome if that didn't have to happen.

But yes, so, yesterday went a little like this. I woke up freaking out about four hours after I went to sleep because I had a dream that I had registered for a second session art class that I had forgotten about and was failing. After realizing that no such thing had happened, I calmed down, and started freaking about other nonsensical things. Finally went back to sleep, woke up two hours later to get ready to go pick up my friend to talk to his dad about the realities of my options in buying a car.

See, I'm not well-payed, and many places frown upon that. My budget for a car was actually pretty... let's say... hopeful? That works. Meaning, trying to find a car, especially in the Beach for under ten grand is sort of like looking for the end of the rainbow. So we talk to his dad (who is a fantastic person of great character and helped me out exponentially and I should buy him dinner or something nice for his help), who basically tells me what I just told you. Then he calls a buddy of his at another car lot.

Thus the rainbow ended right in my outstretched hands.

Oh man. This car. Its exactly what I wanted and needed. Its not sporty, it's not super descript in anyway, and it gets great mileage. It was like someone dropped the pot of gold right in my lap. I test drove it and it was so comfortable to drive, once I adjusted to the throttle, that I knew it was mine. I'm having so much love for this car. So big, big kudos to my pal, because if it weren't for him I'd never have found this car. Seriously. If anyone in the area is looking for solid help finding a quality ride, let me know, I have a guy for that now haha.

I'm really freaking stoked about this. GAHHHHHH.

Also, Happy Easter. Mine has been pretty amazing so far. I mean, I woke up at seven something which is sort of lame, but I got a nap so it balanced out. I got my basket of treats. Lots of chocolate and a three pound bag of gummy bears. I also got a Nerf Deploy CS-6 that I've been using to shoot the aforementioned gummy bears. They died noble deaths, and I consumed so as to gain their courage. I also dyed my eggs, which was awesome fun time. Don't judge.

We've had lunch, which mum cooked. Ham, mac'n'cheese, hashbrown casserole, deviled eggs (irony) and green bean casserole. There's a cake chilling in the fridge (pun) that I can't wait to get at. Mom only makes it like once or twice a year. It's yellow cake with a layer of pineapple and whipped cream mixed with cream cheese frosting between layers, then it's coated with that same mixture and topped with coconut and bits of pineapple. Oh yes. Yes.

Dad and I are going to go watch Scream 4, because that's the only proper way to celebrate Easter. Also, we didn't get to watch it last weekend due to seeing Your Highness with mom instead. Hurrah!

I'm in a partial food coma, so I'm going to nap again. And eat more gummies. And post this video of my car on YouTube for James.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Hypothetically Speaking

Watching/Listening to: ET by Katy Perry ft. Kanye West

Now, I'm not a drinker. Never have been (though, admittedly, when I was six my dream was to be a smoker, and drinker who sat around all day and tanned. I also thought Sonic the Hedgehog was my boyfriend and that I was a Power Ranger, so  my judgment wasn't exactly on par). But if I were to drink, let's say, a beer that has a slightly less piss after taste than usual beers, I hypothetically learned my lesson last night. As a word of advice from a masochist to everyone out there who may actually love their bodies, do not make my mistakes, that is, if I committed the actions to make said mistakes. Mistakes like eating Taco Bell at one in the morning and following it up with a drinking game involving dice, two shots of some sort of pale ale with a citrusy after burn, and a friend who is too well practice at such things.

Yeah. Don't do that. You may not be mentally prepared for the hatred your body bestows on you. I have years of practice of torturing my stomach with horrific crap. I'm close to an expert at it. Like the cheeseburger I ate the other with some coffee and ketchup with hot sauce mixed in. How old was the burger? Old enough to make me question my existence, but not old enough to kill me. The moral of that story is: I'm immortal, so stop trying.

I lost the hypothetical game, by the way. I'm just glad it was stopped after one drink, because I am not tolerant of beer in general.

I'm looking for my Dr. Seuss books that my mother has collected over the years for my brother and myself during our childhood. I owe a friend's kids a reading, and can't seem to find them. I may have to muster up and go to the library at some point. Or, you know, buy copies for myself since mums won't relinquish the memories she's slaved over for some reason. Mothers, you gotta love them, but you can't ever understand them.

So, I had a meeting with some partners in crime (technically Victimology) with whom I'm creating a presentation to give to the class on a scenario handed out by the teacher several weeks ago. Nothing says we take you seriously as a professor like waiting until the last minute to put minimal effort into a huge portion of your grade. Anyways, so, it's me and two other girls in this group. Our scenario is that as two people leave the library late at night they are robbed at gun point. We have to show how the crime would be handled, what the victims go through, how law enforcement is involved and so on.

I'm the villain. I have a costume and everything and I'm getting a name tag that says ThugLyf on it. It's going to be awesome if I can steel my gut and pull it off. I may even get to use a water gun against my classmates! I'm going to be wearing one of my bigger hoodies, a beanie, temporary tats, my men's levi's and some boxers. Maybe I'll hold the gun sideways and yell kill shot.

Our preliminary script so far is that the two other girls will be walking from the library and I'll rob them of their pricey cell phones, laptop, and cash. Then I'm going to run away with the goods while trying to stuff them into a bag, pass a police officer who realizes that a fleeing thug with electronics and a gun can be up to no good, get arrested and start my path down Career Criminal Way.

 The officer will ask the girl's if they're alright, invite them to the station for formal statements, I'll be 'processed' as in fingerprinted and held overnight. They'll identify me in a line-up, sealing my fate. The Commonwealth Attorney will then tell me that she'll drop the charge of possession of stolen firearm if I just shut up and plead guilty to armed robbery. We'll forgo trial, I'll get 10 years with possibility of parole in 8, and life will continue.

Cool, right? Granted, we still have to work out the details of it all, to make sure it's factual. I was trying to get one of the girls (she works with the police) to get a real cop to come in and do the interrogation thing. None of the cool ones are available on Tuesday, I guess. Lametown.

Anything else interesting happen in my life? Oh yeah. My fucking car got the gas siphoned out of it in the mall parking lot while I was at work yesterday. That's fabulous. It's not like I work for my money or anything. I was a bit pissed about that, in case no one noticed. But it happens, so moving on.

Rewriting this book is killing me slowly, as I have very little drive to write lately, but I've been working on it. Christina is a lot more violent. Six pages in, she's knocked three people unconscious and threatened a half dozen more. Oh, and there's a demon and two hell hounds loose in the school. Sweetness. I do like this version the best so far. I'm basically rough drafting the chapters for now to go back and fill in more details later.  My goal is 300 pages maximum, but that's cutting about 96 pages from the previous version. I'll need to outline the hell out of this thing.

So much to do, but summer is almost here, so awesome sauce. I may have time again.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Full of Win

That's me, full of win.

Watching: Scream

Listening to: Myself speak (Previewing videos for youtube haha).

So, just realized the ever awesome le5hitbag (a follower of my mine on youtube) is now a follower of mine on this most amazing of blogs. I'm stoked about that. He's so devoted!

Anyways, I just posted two videos up on the ever growing expanse of online subculture that is YouTube and I have to say, the second one could be better. I tend to ramble when unleashed without a point haha. The first is of me reading A Porcupine Named Fluffy. That's mostly for some friends in Vegas and a little boy named Dillon who is sweet enough to give you diabetes. The second is of me rambling about updates in my life, disguising it as interesting information.

Not much is happening right now. Discovered a phone plan I can afford, which is awesome. Arranged to live with Sarah, which is even better. Got registered for all my classes, which is a ton better and makes me smile. I only have one semester left, you know. It's going to be epic when I finally get that piece of paper saying I'm halfway done with college, haha. A bachelor's in psychology is like walking into the work force with the equivalent of a common cold haha. At least I can laugh about it.

One of my friends is bothered and I'm trying to cheer him up. I should've just driven out there with food. Food improves everything.

What else? Not much, actually. Classes are almost done, which is intense because it caught me off guard. I'm trying to find a new job that pays better and will remain flexible with my schedule. Good luck to me, I say. The commissary is looking pretty nifty right now though, they start out way higher than what I make now. Which is awesome sauce.

I've developed a slight crush on Katy Perry's new song with Kanye West: ET. His lines just make it so much better "Big headed astronaut" and "I'ma disrobe you, then I'ma probe you, I abducted you, So I'll tell you what to do". It's just... so awesome.

So, Sarah and I skpyed for a little bit but Cassy is injured and needed tending, so we had to stop. But I'm super proud of how awesome a writer she is for this publication she's interning with. It's an online thing, and it seems to be pretty damn great. What what! Yeah. I said it.

I'm really just running on fumes, but that's the best part, right? Anyways, I am leaving without imparting any sort of actual information or knowledge on anyone. That's alright I suppose. Go read a book, you lazy internet dwellers. Sheesh.

In fact, go watch me read a book for you. That's a good start. <3

Peace, turtledoves.

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Warm Summer's Night

Watching: the stars overhead.

Listening to: the radio, 97.5 (and then 93.7)

Actually, I'm writing this, or typing it, on my phone in my dads truck headed back from Charlottesville visiting my brother for his birthday. It was a great day. He had a good time, which is awesome cause his life has sucked the last three weeks. We went to Chili's for dinner after his drill practice with two of his friends. They're good boys.

He got everything he asked for too, so yay. Its always nice to surprise him with generosity. He appreciates it more now than I think he used to. We went to the movies as well, watched Arthur with Russel Brandt.

It was a good movie! I was pleasantly surprised. I like movies with playful, happy, people coupled with brutally honest caregivers. It was really great. A lot of lessons about being happy in life, taking charge, being responsible and how they mesh comfortably together. Really cute.

And since I'm in a dark truck speeding down interstate 64, watching the stars out my window listening to Hells Bells by AC/DC I can rub my eyes and ruin my poorly done makeup. Its hard to get the right collaborations of colors to match my ninja shirt without looking garish.

Its pretty warm still, even at 10 tonight. It makes me want to walk the beach and dance with someone. Not all romantic like, but happy-for-life-laughing like, just dance under the stars and run and joke around. I can't wait until full blown warm weather hits.

Still looking for a new job, hopefully I can get hired at one of the commissaries. They start out at something like 9.70 an hour with is more than I make now. I'm trying very hard to be conservative with money but its hard to say no to myself when 80 percent of my spending is on food. I like being with people over food. Some of my best memories are that way. People are just happier and more relaxed with food around.

Oh, and I definitely want to see Scream 4 this coming week. And when it comes out the new Steve Carell flik (Stupid Crazy Love) and Something Borrowed which also looks good. Which is weird because I'm not normally a romantic movie person, but they seem interesting. Source Code and Battle: LA are still on my list as well. So much to watch and no time.

Off I go into the night listening to Hold Me Now by The Thompson Twins.

Whip it good folks.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Avoided the Shutdown

Listening to: I'll Make a Zombie Slayer Out of You

Watching: The video above.

So, at the last minute Congress realized that people were plotting their slow, torturous deaths and got their minds right. Shutdown avoid, government intact. Awesome sauce.

I really don't have anything interesting to say. Been talking to a lot of old friends who are stoked to see me again. Also, some of them have that brutal-won't-take-your-shit honesty that I love so much. Those are my favorite people. I love someone who understands I'm a bit of a raving loon, but doesn't accept that that means I have to be a bitch about it.

Oh yeah, moving to Boise, Idaho come December. My mother is in a fit about it, but it's still eight months away. She has time to adjust, I have time to save up money and find a reliable car, apartment, and develop a plan for school that does not involve waiting nine months for instate tuition to kick in. Idaho has this awesome waiver thing that if you qualify, you can pay instate immediately. I think I qualify, so awesome sauce.

Mostly just been reading Bite Me by Christopher Moore, and it's very entertaining. Reminds me of outlandish stories my friends and I developed during high school. A legion of vampire cats lead by a shaved giant cat is sort of an awesome concept when you don't consider too much about it. And I don't.

To fill up the rest of this with something that might actually be interesting here's an bit from a drabble I'm dozing in and out of working on. Also, I'll be writing some parts of a script with a friend and may post it on here. Maybe not because I want it to make to the screen one day. Choices.


Abigail stared very hard from over the top of her laptop at the baby sitter, who was staring very intently back.

Something is wrong with this chick. She quickly announced to her nightly chat buddy, Wrose, who was some college girl that liked to complain about not sleeping at four in the morning after watching six hours of YouTube smut.

A little ding sound made her look down to read the reply.

Oh? How so?

“Do you have any friends coming over?” the woman asked, her hair too long to be practical as it swayed at her hips. Abby wondered how many times a day she sat on her own hair. She bet that would be an embarrassing moment.

“Uh, maybe,” she lifted her laptop, yanked the power cord from the wall with a harsh tug and expertise and bundled it around her arm. “I’m going to go up to my room.”

“I’ll be down here.” The dark eyed maven continued to stare. “Abigail, have you ever donated blood?”

“I’m only thirteen, mom can’t even sign a waiver.” She furrowed her brow as she responded. “But maybe this year with all the accidents and everything happening. I have an important blood type. I’m a universal donor.”

“That’s very good of you. Giving blood is very important.” Crazy Woman smiled, showing perfectly aligned teeth that still somehow seemed off.

“I,” Abby licked her licks. “I’m going to go upstairs now.”

“I’ll check up on you later.”

The stocky weebu nearly fell up the stairs twice in her scramble to run away. Her computer had received several messages at that point, Wrose demanding to know if she was alright. They’d met once at some youth center thing where older people try to help little kids out. Abby’s mother had hoped someone would be able to talk her daughter out of idolizing foreign cartoon men, especially with one another, but Wrose did not help. Actually, she just added another obsession to Abigail’s list of things to know everything about.

Hey, I think my baby sitter is a vampire.

There was a short lapse of silence on the screen during which she began to batter Google with several questions about vampire babysitters and if they were a harmless breed.

She’s super pale, has stupidly long hair, eyes like she hasn’t eaten meat in months, and asked about my blood. Do you think a vampire babysitter is human friendly? Wouldn’t they have to be to receive call backs and to get certified?

Wrose was a preternatural expert. She could identify anything and explain how it lived, if it really needed to die, and how to go about ridding yourself of it. Abby had a poltergeist for a while and Wrose had a friend cleanse her house and Abby herself, because apparently poltergeists are attached to specific people, not locations.


Then the internet went dead and Abby very suddenly became aware that she was fifteen pounds overweight, in bad shoes for running and wearing her least favorite Naruto hoodie. This was not how she wanted to die.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Lemon Cake

So, I've got an array of bruises on me that I can't remember receiving. That's always awesome. One on my arm is days old by now, nearly healed. I have a few on my legs that are actually bright blue. I'm clumsier than I realized. I blame work. I'm just trying to remember how I got them, along with this small cut on the top of my hand. I think the cut is from a tag, but I'm sure that I walked into several things to receive the bruises.

So, I had Strawberry Wine for the first time ever the other night and nearly finished the whole bottle. Arbour Mist Strawberry White Zinfadel actually, and it was the best wine I've had to date. I won't say that in a quality way, because I'm positive it's not high class stuff, but it was nice and sweet. And it didn't taste like pure rubbing alcohol. I had two glasses the first night and one last night, but it was only a small bottle.

I want to see Fast Five and Scream 4. They seem like pretty decent sequels, and I'll attempt to watch anything with fast cars in it at least once. Plus hey, Vin Diesel and The Rock? I'm there.

Alright, so, up to date. I went out with Dawn yesterday after a doctor's appointment. She hasn't been feeling her best the past couple of days, but felt good enough to join me for sushi at Fire Ninja down by Pembroke. I've never been there before, it was quite lovely. The setup feels very pricey but I only paid 13 bucks for my entire meal (a salad, two sushi rolls and a drink). She had crab and salmon rolls, which looked good but I don't eat fish. I had a California roll and eel roll. Fantastic.

On my way to this place, having never been there but knowing exactly where it is, I somehow got it confused with another sushi place I used to go to called Ninja. So, needless to say, I just went there and wondered where Dawn was haha. Bit of a blonde moment for me. So, I finally get there, looking awesome in my new little black dress from H&M and my tuxedo heels from Unique Vintage, had my hair up and looking nice. What do I do? I stab myself in the chest with a flying chopstick.

Dawn thought it was hilarious.

I woke up Sunday with my metabolism bitch slapping me. That was awesome. My parents and I had gone together to Red Lobster the night before and I'd had crab legs, mashed taters and garlic scampi, two biscuits and half the stuffed mushrooms. Woke up the next morning like I hadn't eaten in two weeks. I've been hungry ever since it feels like. As I'm typing this up I'm chowing down on some lemon cake my mom made (and threatened to make me wear) after a dinner of teriyaki grilled chicken and mac n cheese. Oh man, I love food so much.

Let's see, let's see. So, due to my life needing to be changed dramatically, I've recently come to some conclusions that involve not staying where I am in multiple senses of the word. I'll be posting more details about that later, mainly because I'd like to discuss it with the people it effects most before running my virtual mouth about it on here or YouTube. But change is on the horizon and I'm alive with it. I'm excited about it.

However, I can say that my mom cried over this change that's going to be occuring, Sarah is stoked about it, my friend Jon is sort of excited about it, and my brother just yelled at me for not telling him. Which lead to a war between me and my mom on Facebook in which she threatened to firstly, take my lemon cake away, and then to force me to wear it. I said cool, I'll put it on right now and star in my own food porn.

The subject was quickly dropped.

What else I can say is that tomorrow afternoon I'm going to look at a car that is highly affordable, in good condition (From what I've heard, I'll be seeing it for the first time after my classes tomorrow), has low mileage and is a model that I've wanted for a little while now. It's a 2006 Chevy Cobalt with about 62 thousand miles on it so far, which is fine for me. It'll be a nice reliable car, which I'll need since in about a month  my lil bro is going to coming home from school and taking his car back.

Oh, so, I'm reading Bite Me by Christopher Moore. I've never read anything by him before and so far its delightfully ridiculous. I good pick, I think. There's a vampire cat, two Asians and a goth girl. Worth the money so far and I'm only three chapters in. Ooooh, I should read that tonight in the tub.

I think that's everything I need to talk about right now. Wish me luck on the car!