Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

So, it's been a little while since I posted but not as long as I thought. I forgot about the one I just put up after dyeing my hair again. My memory is really starting to slip up. Its a bit disconcerting, actually, because I'm forgetting conversations I had a few weeks ago or sooner and all sorts of things. I need to start up with my actual journal again, it's how I document most of my life. That way I can actually go back and say for sure how something went down.

Well, it's been an interesting week I guess. I've done a lot work, spent a lot time with friends and celebrated my friend Dawn's birthday on Thursday night/Friday morning at Applebees with the gang and more. We had something like fifteen people there. It was pretty cool. I was one of three people who couldn't legally drink though, so that was bah. Her beau left her some pretty thoughtful and elaborate gifts before he went on deployment, which was very sweet of him. He's a good guy.

This coming up Thursday we'll be drinking to my birthday, since it happened on a Sunday between dinners out.

That's right. I had a birthday. It was amazing. I turned twenty-one on Sunday and really from midnight to midnight it was one of my coolest birthdays ever. I think most of that had to do with how relaxed everything was. It was nice.

I was hanging out with a friend of mine after work Saturday night/Sunday morning and he surprised me with a mini-birthday tiramisu complete with a birthday candle after we ate some pizza. That was a pretty awesome start to my birthday. We had a drink in honor of me being legal and too lazy to request to go anywhere to order a shot of any sort and watched Interstella 5555. It was a pretty awesome movie, for those of you out there who are like me and aren't aware of it, it's an anime film with no dialogue based solely on Daft Punk's Discovery album. An intense experience at three in the morning, as most things are.

Came home, slept, woke up to a banner and balloons which was freaking awesometastic. I love balloons, especially balloons for me. Twas quite cool. My parents (I've been told more my mom than my dad) baked two cakes for me. One is this delicious concoction involving yellow cake, whipped cream/cream cheese frosting, pineapple layers, and coated with shredded coconut. The second is a beautifully crafted cheeseburger cake. That is, it's two layers of yellow cake with a brownie in the middle, fruit roll ups as cheese, frosting as ketchup and mustard. No lettuce or onions because I don't eat vegetables on my burgers haha.

The front one is obviously the cheeseburger, the one behind it is my coconut/pineapple cake. So good.

I got exactly what I asked for: an Acer Iconia Tab. It's a little tablet computer that operates on the Android system. It's big enough for me to use the touch keyboard comfortably, small enough to take to class with me, and I'm just tickled pink with it. I need to name it something awesome. Yes. I will work on that.

After cake and presents I took a bit of a nap, went to Walgreens for lipgloss and pantyhose and finished getting ready for dinner at Otani's. It's one of my favorite restaurants. It's a Japanese hibachi steakhouse. Dinner and a show, and such delicious food, oh my god. I ordered my first drink on someone else's dime. It was a Ninja (involving peach schapps, rum, and almond something or other) and it came in a white ninja glass! Hell yes.

After that I hung out with a friend of mine, ate more cake (I'm really surprised I haven't gone into some sort of sugar related shock) watched some TV and had a drink or two more. It was a really good day. Warm, relaxed, and everyone understood the rules that it was my birthday and therefore my word was law. It was nice. It's the one day a year I'm really adamant about things being my way and my way only.

Worked almost six hours on Memorial Day (day after my birthday, so its good I'm not much of a partier or that could've hurt) and got paid for over eight. That's awesome. But tomorrow I have the day off so Dawn and I and maybe some additional friends are going to the beach for a little while. I'm going to burn like a poorly made cookie. I also need to try on bathing suits to see if any actually fit well enough to wear in public, though I doubt I'll be in less than shorts and a tank the whole time.

I should get on that. It's late, I'm tired and should be asleep anyways. Going to be an awesome day. Yeah. Because I said so.

Hasta la vista.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Watching: American Dad

Listening to: Born This Way (thank you Amazon for the $0.99 download of the whole album)

I dyed my hair again. It needed to be brought back to life.I'm sort of hoping the super-red will jump start my personality for the better, again, haha. I also French braided my hair by myself for the first time in my life to completion. Holy crow. I am more talented than I give myself credit for.

Unless we're talking about playing board games like Scrabble.

In a twist of lucky fate in my favor, I got a camera. A few years ago my brother got a orange FinePix for his birthday, or Christmas, or some gift giving holiday. Well. I wanted it, because my old Nikon that I've had since I was thirteen has been disappeared for over two years now. I'm upset about the loss, but am moving on slowly. I wanted a point-and-shoot camera to take on walks, runs, and just out and about with me. My Canon is way too big to take on anything but photo-taking ventures and requires my special bag for it.  So, I traded my acoustic guitar for the camera and viola, we are both in a place of happiness. Yes. This worked out well.

I also bought a purse from Target that is significantly smaller than my purses lately, but has a pocket just the size of the camera (this is fate, I say). This way I only take what I need with me from now on, instead of carrying a small bedroom around on my shoulder all damn day. Seriously, you can ask Sarah, when I carry a bag I can keep the most interesting/useless things in it forever.

Oh! Yesterday was the illustrious Sarah's twenty-first birthday! It's a crying shame I had to miss it, but we'll make up the drinking fun on the 31st of December, ringing in the New Year in style. On an unrelated side note (not that any of this has actually been linear), we all survived Armageddon! Woo! Go Team Human!

I'm trying to expand my idea of a wardrobe slowly but surely, as evidenced my the addition of ruffles and chiffon to my cotton-tee an denim closet. My next hopeful step is to add some skirts and floral dresses. I had a dream about buying an ass load of bandeaus last night, but I don't have the guts to wear them the way I want (inspired by ultra-amazing friend/co-worker). I'm just not convinced anyone wants to see my stomach that badly haha. But I did wear shorts in public today, actual shorts too, not my tomboy below the knee shorts. I need to find a comfortable length above the knee but not half-way up my ass.

Tomorrow is my last day off before my birthday, and I'm really hoping to have my birthday off. If I don't, well, it's going to suck calling in and getting written up because my Store Manager doesn't want to honor any of my requests. I made it several weeks ago, and really, there are several people capable of doing my job. It's not rocket surgery. As long as you can read numbers and don't scream at customers, you've pretty much accomplished the task.

I should go to sleep. I meant to be in bed by eleven tonight, to make up for the horrible way I've been treating my body. Not sleeping. Eating like a junkie. Got distracted by hair then started Chapter 2 of my book. Too much!


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Always Look Up

Mumford and Sons is pure awesome. It's like cocaine with vodka for my eardrums. It's not necessarily good for working out too, but still, I love them. 

I went for a six mile wander yesterday that was partially an accident. I went to First Landing, my favorite place to wander and go to when I don't feel like being anywhere else. I took the Cape Henry Trail, which I've never done before. I guess I started about halfway into the trail (3 miles left in it) assuming it looped around like Bald Cypress. It doesn't. I walked three miles to a dead end. 

I can't say it wasn't fun, it was. I found an outlook over a particular part of the swamp where a bunch of turtles were sunning and being snobby bitches about it. Then I played on some trail side gym equipment. Granted, I did cross the monkey bars first with my hands before choosing to perch on them upside down. When I righted myself three bikers came rolling passed on some Schwinns and I scared them so bad they fell. I apologized, naturally, but they didn't seem to think it was funny.

On the way back it rained. Well, hailed, then rained. Hard. That was awesome. So after three miles in a thunder storm, I came home and mom paid for me to get a pedicure. Very awesome. I pretty much felt like crap, though. Ended up with a fever, which I will blame my bad dreams and restless sleep on. Woke up at 7:30 this morning, paid my bills, then went back to bed for two hours, then another hour. 

Also, exercised with some weights today still feeling the burn from the other day. But I, most definitely, am not complaining. I've sort of missed the way my muscles ache after being used. I haven't done a real sport or any activity since the ninth grade that wasn't gym class related. It feel good to have a body used to being forced into action again. I should keep up with this.

Anyways, Applebees night tonight. Woo! And work before that, so I should go get changed. Here's a tidbit from that random crack induced story based in Idaho I keep posting random portions of. Enjoy, lackeys. 

RANDOM STORY TIME BITCHES (I've been watching a lot of EpicMealTime)

“Do we burst in?” It occurred to the red head that her friend had never been on a mission before. They’d hit a werecoyote with her car once, but other than that, everything was second hand.

Fuck, she thought while exhaling deeply. She raised her hand, positioned to the side of the door and not directly in front of it, the shot gun at her side. With the back of her knuckles she rapped the door twice, rather loudly, and waited.

A shrill scream of terror rang from inside the house and Liv’s eyes grew to the size of small saucers, or, to the size of a human being’s eyes when they realize they’re about to walk in on a vampire eating another human being. Really, either way, it works.

“Yeah, we bust in.” Wrose decided as she walked backward and slammed her foot hard into the door. It rattled and didn’t open. Liv reached over and tried the brass knob, which turned easily in her grip and the hardwood door pulled open without protest.

They shared a look, Olivia’s sort of a cross between disbelief and I told you so, and Wrose’s a clear cut warning to keep her mouth shut for fear of the wrath of a red head.

She ran inside and lifted the gun, looking very much professional and trained to do this. Liv stumbled in a bit, eyes wide, waiting to be attacked. It was still inside the middle class home, and so quiet both women could clearly hear their own heartbeats like drums pounding in their heads.

“Abby?” Wrose called out. No one responded. “Abigail, its Wrose.”

“She’s not answering.” Liv pointed out.

“I’m well aware of that. Just stay behind me and pay attention.” Her voice had dropped significantly. Not that it would help, vampires were gifted with incredibly sensitive senses. She really hated hunting them, they were such conceited pricks about the whole ‘completely superior species’ thing they had going for them.

The lights died and she slid her glasses down to the bridge of her nose in the sudden darkness that consumed them. Something blurred to her right and instinctually she swiveled and fired, but it moved too fast and the buck shot peppered the kitchen counter. Olivia jumped and squeaked, popping open the holy water flask.

“Keep your back to mine,” Wrose advised, lifting her chin to stare at the ceiling. People always forgot to look up. A young man was poised above her, eyes empty as he stared.

“Ah shit.”

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Superhero Training

So, there I was Saturday night sitting outside the AMC annexed from the mall I work at. I was waiting for my parents and brother (newly in town from Charlottesville for summer vacation) to come out of Fast Five. I was sitting on a bench just to the side of the exiting doors on the side of the theater, in front of Ruby Tuesdays, having come straight from work. I had been surprise invited to food, so I waited patiently.

About five minutes or so before they came out, two men came up to the doors. Now, to keep movie hoppers from entering through the Exits, there are only door handles on the inside and they doors open outward. These guys sort of complain, then one bends down and fiddles with the wall before they both walk away. This has my partial attention, as I'm also watching three slightly inebriated Navy guys lounge and smoke outside of the restaurant which had just closed. As it turns out one of the two would-be movie hoppers had plugged his cell phone into the unprotected outlet to charge and walked away to rejoin his group of friends at the front of the theater.

I stared for about ten seconds before checking the time. The three Navy gents were passing by as I stared at the phone again and said to myself "I hope he knows a torrent of people is probably about to come out those doors" grabbing the attention of one of the Navy guys. He stopped and asked if I was talking to myself, which I admitted to happily, then he asked why I was alone. I informed him that I was just waiting for some people. After that we had a brief conversation about psychology (Criminal, trauma and behavioral) before he commented on my 'awesome kicks' (dichotomy Converse) and met up with his friends.

It was interesting, I don't normally have those moments with strangers. Conversations generally just don't happen in my life like that, but I normally actively stave them off as well. I was just feeling pretty good Saturday. Felt pretty awesome sauce on Sunday as well.

Sunday I saw Priest with a friend of mine. Oh man. The best part of the movie was watching my pal squirm in his seat because it was such an unexpected B flik. I hadn't realized it was so suggestively Catholic. He hated it, I believe. I enjoy horrible movies since they make me laugh. I had a problem with the way they attracted the vampires' attentions though. If something doesn't have eyes, why the fuck are you going to use a light to get its attention? Is it a salamander? Can it sense light with its skin? Fuck no. It's a vampire. It already knows your there, stop being an idiot.

It was a good time though. And it stoked me up for the Fright Night remake coming out. Oh man. So looking forward to that!

Worked yesterday. Blah. Don't have much to say about it other than people trust my taste in fashion enough to dress them, which is scary at best. But she looked good, so mission accomplished.

Ran with my running buddy today after his workout. I swear this guy is a superhero or something. He's Captain Fucking America. That is the only explanation for the shit his body can apparently endure. It literally hurts my body to think about going through the exercises he does. Also, makes me feel like a bitch for not being able to stand the intensity of the mere idea of trying to accomplish what he does. I'm slowly failing out of this superhero training school, I think. I need to step up my game. MORE MUSCLE AND LESS BITCHING.

Hell yes.

I also proved, without a doubt, that I am not to be feared today. I fell into (read: ran into) a bush chasing after this friend of mine because he can't keep his damn feet off Ninja. He only does it because I react the way I do. Anyways. The left side of my body has some scratches to remind me of my stupidity. Which is awesome.

Finished the unedited, rewritten first chapter of the primary novel I care about. That makes me happy. It's shorter than the first attempt, but I like it much better. Rewriting this whole thing from the beginning is going to be such a pain (it took me a year and a half to get the first version completed) but hopefully I'll be happy with the end result.

I went to Kroger after watching Epic Meal Time and dropped too much money on candy and sweets. Oh man. Self control has been activated because I want to tear all of this up right now. No. Have to behave.

I'm going to lose this battle, haha.

Anyways, rambled out. Ciao.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I'm a Lucky Person

"What's the point of Twitter? I don't understand. Should I be twittering?" "It's Tweeting, not twittering." "Fuck you that's what it is. What is it, anyways?" "It's a place for people to feel important who aren't." "Oh. I don't need Twitter then. I have a blog." "Yeah."

My friends and I discuss the things in life that truly matter. Today has been a little bit hilarious half the time. I drew a mustache on my finger to make my day brighter and then drew a face on the back of my other hand so that I could give it the mustache. My boss was tickled with that. This is the same woman who laughed so hard she nearly choked when a customer dissed me with a bitchy look and I said "Didn't want help you anyways. Bitches always going to hate."

Also, went and watched Thor after work. It was pretty damn awesome. It stoked me up! Which is good. For some reason movies always make me want to write. I came out of the theater with some pretty good ideas for my novel, which I should be writing on.

I feel better now. Really better. Lifted. I still need to take a vacation of some sort, but who doesn't? I figured out that I've been feeling inadequate lately. Mostly due to me not accomplishing anything in the past year. The 13th of May is the anniversary of my Grandfather's death, and it was a very hard time for me last year. I promised myself I would change, that I would not let life continue to dwindle out of my grasp like grains of sand. I hadn't seen my grandfather in thirteen years, and hadn't spoken to him in about two. I never wanted to let anything so simple as fear and embarrassment stop me again.

I have not lived up to that. I really haven't and that disappoints me. I get so stuck on the consequences of my actions way before hand that I always stop and never act. Its one of the reasons I don't make first moves. I am always so afraid of failing at something that I get hung up on the possibility and it convinces me to never act. This has made me very unhappy with myself lately and I think I've passively been acting out against the people who care about me. I'm sorry for that.

I cannot say that this is something I can fix overnight. Change rarely happens so quickly. But now that I can see it, I can effect it in myself. I think a first step is actually making a plan and doing something with it. Like, let's say, moving. Buying a car. Doing things that I've been scared to do for the passed three years.

I've talked to some of my closest, dearest friends. People who have seen my ups, downs, ugly and good. People I've hurt. People I've loved, nearly lost, and helped. People I've cried for, over and with. They made me stop feeling sorry for myself like an idiot. I kept wondering, because I wasn't sure what I liked about myself, what people liked about me. Two of my dearest friends made me happy with myself and the people around me with the simplest words.

I should tell people more often that I love them. That I care about and appreciate them. That they make me happy. It's only fair and right.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings again. I've posted too often, the world will get spoiled with my introspective mental wanderings and crazy antics. So I'm going to say goodnight with this quote from a dear friend of mine. She should really stop listening to me sometimes. I can give some pretty abysmal advice, especially regarding taking risks with food. (I once at a pizza that we literally had forgotten about for over a week). But this is sound advice from someone who is an authority on the subject (thanks to my pushing).

"Don't eat a half a box of croutons after midnight. Ever."

Which begs the question, if you do it before midnight, does it seem like a better idea?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Winning Champions

I'm at work last night, rearranging (a bit uselessly) a table of jean shorts so we can pack up, ship out and get to Applebees as is customary on Thursday. Our manager keeps being negative about when we're getting out of there ("We aren't leaving until midnight."-him "Psh. There's no reason we can't be out by 10:30."-me "Maybe 11:30."-him) so I was pulling deep for the inner cheerleader I keep locked in a cage in my head. After finishing the table I was on I yelled "I'm a CHAMPION." And one of our new hires who actually seems able to manage her job yelled back "WINNING."

I think I love her.

Applebees was pretty fun. We were short a few people but new faces showed up. It seemed, different though. Something was slower about it than usual. I blame the fact they only played fucking slow music, which is not what I need to hear when I'm already tired. But it was still fun times. Dawn recorded me showing off my awesome white girl dancing skills, so she could send a video to her beau who just went underway for seven months. He's a great guy and this way he can feel included still in our weekly adventures.

Bah. I'm not feeling myself lately. For about two weeks or so now I've just been floating not being excited about much, even when I want to be. I am stoked about running and the fact I'm actually going through with it. For some reason I'm feeling stiff in my own skin.

On that note, I think I'm actually going to try to shimmy my way down to South Carolina and spend a few days at the lake with my grandparents. I don't want them to take off, because I really just want to be away and relax. I need a few solid days of not existing here, in this place I live. I get that way sometimes. When I start to feel like I'm dragging the opinions of people around me down, it's time to recharge. I don't like being 'that girl'. The only problem with going down there is that I'll probably be doing it alone. I'm not really good at taking trips by myself.

If Sarah were here I'd ask her to go with me, haha. Maybe brohan will want to go, but he's looking for work and has summer school. Oh well. I'll figure it out. It's the beginning of summer, my twenty-first is coming up, the weather is gradually warming up. Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday I'll spend the day wandering around First Landing since I don't work. Get caught in a storm or something. Yeah, that'd be awesome.

Earlier this week I did run twice with my running buddy, in the same night. My body is still a bit angry about the exertion but compared to what that guy does to himself, I really shouldn't complain ever. EVER. Christ. I don't have the balls to put myself through what he does. More power to him. He also introduced me to playing Super Nintendo games on the PC using a Playstation controller, which I've never done before. I may suck pretty bad at video games but I will always love playing Super Mario World. It was one of the first games I've ever beaten. I hadn't played it in years.

Hmm. Maybe I should just start playing more video games when I'm being lazy.

Oh, and it's Friday the 13th, which is supposed to be horrible or something. Honestly, as superstitious as I can be, this day is always pretty lucky for me. But then again, I was never quite wired like everyone else haha.  Maybe that means we'll get out of work at a decent time and I can go watch Thor afterwards. I'm really stoked about trying to see that movie.

I've rambled enough. Ciao.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Cas, Sarah: You are Warned

TeamFourStar does not help me sleep. I just said I was going to bed, I've been so tired since two this afternoon, and I keep distracting myself. One of my friends, (give you a hint: It's Sarah) once told me that I was afraid of sleep. Sometimes I think she's right because I seem to actively avoid it, like by watching parodies of my favorite anime shows. Instead of just going to bed after dinner tonight I baked cupcakes.

Then ate four of them.

Anyway, moving on. I just read one of my friends blogs. She doubles as a co-worker and triples as one of my fashion icons. I wish I could pull off her confidence and her attitude pairing clothing as daringly as she does. She sort of shuns clothing, which seems to be the opposite of what a fashionista should do, but she does it well. I love her summer outfits of ripped tights, shorts, bright prints, floral prints, boots, dresses, vests and bandeaus. One day I will go shopping with her and beg her to remake me in her powerful image. (Maybe I can ask her how the hell her photos always come out awesome as well.)

My parents will die.

I ran a little over a mile today. This officially marks week two of running for me. A mile or more a day, hopefully. Normally I run with my pal, but life happens (mostly to him and mostly unexpectedly haha). I'm proud that I can run on my own though, as I normally lack that motivation.

However, the rest of the working out I am supposed to be doing did not get done. In fact, it hasn't gotten done technically since last Monday. This particular friend of mine is a beast when it comes to exercising, and I feel a bit guilty that I drag him down. Not guilty enough to stop, but enough to note that I am holding him back when we run. He makes up for it when he beats my ass into the ground with the actual workout though. Or shoves my own slowness into my face while he wears weights and still smokes my ass. I work out with him specifically because he doesn't tolerate my slacker bullshit and expects me to at least force an attempt at keeping up.

My friends are awesome like that.

Fuck, now my brother-san is going to want to run when he gets back. DAMN. Looks like I may actually be forced into shape this summer haha.

I'm about to go to bed, I promise. Really. This is happening. Ignore the gummy bears I keep shoving into my mouth and that this is the third time I've watched episode 22 of TFS DBZA. I'm in bed. That means sleep is coming for me swiftly. Or, staggeringly as is the case lately. I'm an insomniac on a good day. Couple that with the cyclic sleep schedule I've adopted, a slight sense of apprehension for this upcoming Friday, and waking up at 8 in the freaking morning every day and sleep is more easily likened to a drunk stumbling home at four in the morning than a swift hunter come to mercifully relieve me of consciousness.

On a special note: Sarah, calm the fuck down. I love you, you're brilliant and we both know that we wouldn't be friends if you couldn't bullshit like a champion politician. Whatever your teacher throws at you will be crumbled into a ball in your Jason-channeling hand and be made to suffer your wrath for interrupting the hours you could spend listening to K-Pop and writing about it. Then kill it with fire.

Cassy, I know we don't talk very often, but I know you as well. I know this semester is a bundle of stress tied to your back and mind, and I know even on easy exams you tend to freak the fuck out a little bit. Relax, breath and remember: You've got this. You're a fantastic academic, you've proven yourself quite creative with art, and if you start to flip your lid Sarah is going to call me. And you don't want that conversation to take place.

It will end with my psychotic ramblings distracting you so greatly it will actually damage your chances at success, so just avoid the Sinisms and both of you remember: If shit hits the fan, just tell your parents I distracted you with some unbearable crisis.

This crisis will be me curb stomping you both, but hey, its a scapegoat. Run with it. (As long as its not a fainting scapegoat).

That's enough, go to bed, rest, and breathe. I love you both.

Guten Nacht

PS I didn't reread any of this, and I did not even try to edit it to make sure it made sense or was grammatically correct. Leave a comment of serious errors (more than likely your a friend of mine, text or facebook me about it) and I will fix them later.

PPS Or don't. I don't think the six people who read this are actually going to care that much about it, haha.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Like Mitosis

(Time to split) like a cell in the final stages of mitosis. GOD. I have been waiting three hours for a chance to use that. I came up with that in my car, listening to the strangest mix CD I have made to date. This one was from when I lived in Idaho, I'm assuming around 2003, because I think that's when Buffy season six released. It has some of those oh-so-delicious tracks from the musical episode. Haha. Hey Mickey is on there as well, so it must've been around the time I actually gave a flying fuck about Bring It On, so I was in cheerleading. Ahh. Memories.

Anyways, the reason I was thinking of mitosis was I am looking for more gainful employment. Or fuck, just a change in scenery. Barely abreast of minimum wage after two years is not exactly conducive to my efforts to not suck at life in general. I'm applying for a job as an assistant manager at another retail place that I respect bucket loads more. Plus, their jeans look fantastic on me and are of significantly higher quality for a relatively low price after military discount. I miss shopping sometimes haha.

Also, I need to see if I have enough paid time off from my job to go down to South Carolina to stay on the lake with my grandparents for a few days and visit Charleston. See the family, dine with some cousins, enjoy the warm water and sunlight. It would be quite relaxing and enjoyable. Might also be one of the last times I'll be able to pull it off by just driving there and not flying in.

Speaking of driving, Ninja is still amazing and lovely. He's my little beast, he is. I'm thinking of asking for a new stereo system (Speakers and deck), custom seat covers, or getting his windows tinted for my birthday. I love that little guy. Seriously considering custom plates. Something like Little Ninja or My Ninja or something. That would be awesome.

I have a very sudden urge to watch The Dark Knight, which is not good at four in the morning. I have to work later. I should go to bed and not be such an insomniac. As I typed that, I thought of Sarah, who is probably listening to K-pop as we speak and feverishly working on some burdensome school assignment that snuck up behind her with a shovel. She's had a really tough semester this time around and I should mail her something awesome for her efforts. Maybe I'll send her some bread pudding.

Or, you know, actually do that video on fried pickles I keep tantalizing her with.

Rereading all of this, it's like taking someone on a surprise roller coaster ride through Geminitown. Or maybe that's ADD Lane. Whatever. I enjoy both areas, as they are diverse, fast paced, loosely populated and allow for growth and change within seconds.

Before this rambling turns dangerously poetic, I will go to bed.

OH MAN. Sealab 2020 is on. This show is so old haha. I hated it when it used to air. I still mostly do. Whatever. It's no Venture Bros, but it will hold me over until I fall asleep.

Good night. Man, I'm going to feel like an idiot for posting this later, haha. Oh well. At least I'm not singing about macaroni and cheese or punching things in the face with cheesy rage.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Marked by A Decade

Sitting in my parent's condo, here in Virginia I feel as though I am eleven years old again in Germany, watching the news for a Presidential Announcement about something that has happened to my country. After nearly a decade I am sitting in my bed, watching NBC, listening to the President, Barack Obama, explain to me and my nation that a man that has been fuel for our nation's war driven fires is dead. I listen as he explains that we are not at war with a religion, but with a specific group of people. I listen as I am told the war is not over, and that seemingly it will not be for a while yet.

Facebook is alive with opinions and celebrations. I went downstairs to tell my father without a smile on my face. I read the breaking news that spread across the country in less than an hour, if status updates are a means of judging time, while checking my email. My mother is glad he is dead. My dad wonders why this is relevant because it changes nothing, we are still at war.

Admittedly, I am interested in how this death affects my nation and the people I share this nation with. I am curious as to what this means for my military men and women waiting to get through the night without an attack. I cannot quite say that I'm in jubilation. I am excited that the man that birthed a nation of anxiety and nightmares is forever quited, but I am aware that his influence was vast. Osama Bin Laden was to Al-Qaeda as Manson was to his Family. He was a prominent leader to his particular militant cult. They will not be settled by his death, they will not pause and depart.

We have taken the head, but the body lives. We are fighting Hydra, and must be wary that for every head we cut off another will replace it in double. Caution is necessary, reactions will be imminent.

But, for tonight, I am reminded of what it feels like to be in a nation gathered toward a single cause. For a moment every breath was in unison. I felt the collective relief and joy spread through my nation and, as nearly a decade ago, I am a part of a nation united. However short lived, as I sit beside the vivid memory of my younger self, I am smiling. Not because a mass murderer has met his end.

I smile because I am not sure how this will fit into history, but wonder if my children will ask me one day where I was when I was made aware that Bin Laden was dead.

I also find it to be interesting that the attacks that sparked nearly a decade of anger, outrage and backlash were conducted on my mother's birthday, and that the death of the man and the national pride and celebrations that followed occurred late in the day on my father's. Isn't it funny how life balances itself out.