Saturday, April 9, 2011

Avoided the Shutdown

Listening to: I'll Make a Zombie Slayer Out of You

Watching: The video above.

So, at the last minute Congress realized that people were plotting their slow, torturous deaths and got their minds right. Shutdown avoid, government intact. Awesome sauce.

I really don't have anything interesting to say. Been talking to a lot of old friends who are stoked to see me again. Also, some of them have that brutal-won't-take-your-shit honesty that I love so much. Those are my favorite people. I love someone who understands I'm a bit of a raving loon, but doesn't accept that that means I have to be a bitch about it.

Oh yeah, moving to Boise, Idaho come December. My mother is in a fit about it, but it's still eight months away. She has time to adjust, I have time to save up money and find a reliable car, apartment, and develop a plan for school that does not involve waiting nine months for instate tuition to kick in. Idaho has this awesome waiver thing that if you qualify, you can pay instate immediately. I think I qualify, so awesome sauce.

Mostly just been reading Bite Me by Christopher Moore, and it's very entertaining. Reminds me of outlandish stories my friends and I developed during high school. A legion of vampire cats lead by a shaved giant cat is sort of an awesome concept when you don't consider too much about it. And I don't.

To fill up the rest of this with something that might actually be interesting here's an bit from a drabble I'm dozing in and out of working on. Also, I'll be writing some parts of a script with a friend and may post it on here. Maybe not because I want it to make to the screen one day. Choices.


Abigail stared very hard from over the top of her laptop at the baby sitter, who was staring very intently back.

Something is wrong with this chick. She quickly announced to her nightly chat buddy, Wrose, who was some college girl that liked to complain about not sleeping at four in the morning after watching six hours of YouTube smut.

A little ding sound made her look down to read the reply.

Oh? How so?

“Do you have any friends coming over?” the woman asked, her hair too long to be practical as it swayed at her hips. Abby wondered how many times a day she sat on her own hair. She bet that would be an embarrassing moment.

“Uh, maybe,” she lifted her laptop, yanked the power cord from the wall with a harsh tug and expertise and bundled it around her arm. “I’m going to go up to my room.”

“I’ll be down here.” The dark eyed maven continued to stare. “Abigail, have you ever donated blood?”

“I’m only thirteen, mom can’t even sign a waiver.” She furrowed her brow as she responded. “But maybe this year with all the accidents and everything happening. I have an important blood type. I’m a universal donor.”

“That’s very good of you. Giving blood is very important.” Crazy Woman smiled, showing perfectly aligned teeth that still somehow seemed off.

“I,” Abby licked her licks. “I’m going to go upstairs now.”

“I’ll check up on you later.”

The stocky weebu nearly fell up the stairs twice in her scramble to run away. Her computer had received several messages at that point, Wrose demanding to know if she was alright. They’d met once at some youth center thing where older people try to help little kids out. Abby’s mother had hoped someone would be able to talk her daughter out of idolizing foreign cartoon men, especially with one another, but Wrose did not help. Actually, she just added another obsession to Abigail’s list of things to know everything about.

Hey, I think my baby sitter is a vampire.

There was a short lapse of silence on the screen during which she began to batter Google with several questions about vampire babysitters and if they were a harmless breed.

She’s super pale, has stupidly long hair, eyes like she hasn’t eaten meat in months, and asked about my blood. Do you think a vampire babysitter is human friendly? Wouldn’t they have to be to receive call backs and to get certified?

Wrose was a preternatural expert. She could identify anything and explain how it lived, if it really needed to die, and how to go about ridding yourself of it. Abby had a poltergeist for a while and Wrose had a friend cleanse her house and Abby herself, because apparently poltergeists are attached to specific people, not locations.


Then the internet went dead and Abby very suddenly became aware that she was fifteen pounds overweight, in bad shoes for running and wearing her least favorite Naruto hoodie. This was not how she wanted to die.

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