Phone Sex

Original Time Stamp: Jan 30th, 2011 1:30am

Watching: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Listen to: Sarah explain whether Fullmetal is a single word or not. (Also, I’m Awesome, by S’pose)

Tonight’s topic:

Phone sex operators. Apparently my lovely Sarah has been struck with the idea that in order for me to make money to go to Germany for six-weeks through school (and for her to have extra scratch in general) that we should become phone sex operators. Now, this is an interesting idea in the theory that I don’t have to actually sexy-talk anyone. 

I imagine these conversations would be short and displeasing to both parties. 

“So, tell me your name.”

“Stan.”

“Well, Stan, I want you to know you’ve been a bad boy. Tell me how bad you’ve been.”

“I.. I don’t do Domintrix fantasies.”

“Well I do, Stan, and I need your nine bucks an hour, so shut up or get off the line.”

-BEEEEEEEEEEEP-

Yeah… that wouldn’t last long. Sort of like those Doritos that I just finished eating. Hey, if I wasn’t meant to polish off half a bag in a sitting then they wouldn’t be so freaking edible. Gidget (my mutant dog) helped. 

Don’t be a hater.

So, anyways, I shot down the phone sex idea. Personally, I just don’t think I’d be very good at it. Sarah should still give it a go though, haha. So she asked what else we could do that would give us a ton of money without effort or talent.

I told her we should join the cast of Jersey Shore. I, for one, wouldn’t mind punching any of them in the face for fifteen seconds of screen time. I can see the headlines now ‘Jersey Fist Bump Goes Too Far, Attacks Tan Midget’. 

I smell a lawsuit. No, that’s just the smell of honesty. Ahh, honesty. 

Also, still stoked about my hair. As a side note that doesn’t matter much.

Cassy, Sarah’s older sister, thinks she can best me on information about our otherworldly spirit pals. Not the Yu Yu Hakusho gang, but ghosts. 

Bring it.

So, this next bit involves some back story.

Back in 2009 Sarah came down to VB to pay me and my family a visit. It was her first interaction with the South (or Near South, since my family doesn’t feel that Virginia Beach is really Southern). We have had this back and forth for years about us just marrying each other since we spend of our time/effort on each other anyways. (We’re both straight, so women, I know, I’m sorry. Men, hiiiii.)

Well, we went to Bush Gardens, bought matching rings, and told them we were going to get married in Vermont. This has continued ever since. 

So, Cassy just asked Sarah if she would take my last name or vice versa. I said, since I am obviously the man in this relationship, my last name would be took. She was excited, because since I am SinFol, it would make her SarahFol (pronounced Sahr-ah-fol). 

I’m both proud and afraid. But hey, that’s why we all love each other.

Man, it’s one-thirty in the morning again. I should really sleep. 

Or continue to Skype…

Yeah, Skype wins. 

Goodnight silent readers, I appreciate you all, even if most of you are in my head.